Monday, November 13, 2006

Life crisis

Hello, Liz here, Trying something new. Thought I would start a blog and get some feed back on the crap that's going on in my life. I'm so confused as what to do in this situation. I'm being torn apart. Here goes. I have a husband that has been charged with molesting his own daughter. I know its horrible. He says he didn't do it. She says he just touched her breast and she touched his penis. Find out it is said to have went on for 6 years. She is 19 is has some mental problems. I've raised her as my own. She is my step daughter. I love her, but I can't help to be mad at her too. I feel that if this happened, she knew better, and she knows she could have come and told me. I believed her, when she first came to me and accused her grandfather that lives in another state. But she didn't tell me about her father. I know my husband, I thought. I still can't believe it is true. The times she said that it happened, was times that, it couldn't have, cause I was home. And so was her step brother, and no one seen or heard anything. She has always been boy crazy, I mean really! She thought that was the only thing in life. I'm not making excuses for my husbands actions, if he did do it, he should be punished. It just makes me so sick to my stomach, that something like this has happened in my home. Then I find out, after she had moved out and filed charges against my husband, that she was molesting my 16 year old son, since he was 5 years old. I tried to bring her up on charges too, and she admitted to doing somethings but said my innocent minor child went along with it. Of course he did, he was shy, probably was curious and it felt good to him, being a boy with hormones. But he still was a minor and she done it up until she move out at the age of 19. This was said to have been investigated and they seen no reason to charge her. WHY? How come she can get labeled a victim, and not my son? Why can she get Justice and not my son? It just isn't right. She should be punished too. At least for the years she was an adult and new better. Wrong is wrong. I've raised these children in a christian loving home. This is so over whelming to me, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Or climb in a hole and die. One minute I want to beat the crap out of her and my husband and the next I want to forgive and love them and go on with out lives. But our lives will never be the same. My daughter is gone and hates me, because I haven't took a step in leaving her dad and not refusing to help him. I just can't yet. My hearts broken. I love them both and just don't know what to do. That's why I'm here. Please don't judge me, just help me figure this all out. I believe in what the bible says: if you can't forgive others for there sins, God won't forgive you of yours. And it also speaks of compassion for others. I also believe in my wedding vows, For richer or poorer and in sickness or health, in good times and in bad times. So, what should I do????????????????????????????? Thanks for listening,